Why Do Men Lie So Much
80We all lie irrespective of gender, but some experts claim that men lie more than women. Of course, other experts claim the opposite. I am not sitting in judgment on who is worse, but since we are talking of men here, let us just focus on them and the reasons why men lie. There is at least one reason for which men lie across the spectrum. Even if the man has a supposed good image of being a honest person, you just can't trust men when it comes to this. The thing I am talking about, of course, is sex. Well, haven't you come across men who would say just about anything to get laid. You have right? They just would lie between their teeth and they just don't care if the lies are oh so obvious and apparent. These lies are easy to identify, but then again, some women just don't see through them - lucky men!!
Sometimes, the lies are just so ridiculous - you can definitely get a good laugh out of them. But, as dumb as their lies might be - some women do fall for it. Reason why they keep trying their luck with lousy lies. When a man says, "you are the most beautiful woman I've met," - do you really believe him?? You'd like to and its good to hear - but more often than not, they don't really mean it - especially if their ultimate intention is to get lucky. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if sex turned out to be the number one reason for lying among men. I am not saying all men fit this stereotype. There are many good men out there who genuinely mean what they say, but then watch out for the smooth talkers who just compliment for selfish motives.
Sometimes, some men just lie because they have a false sense of ego and they hate admitting that they don't know!! Do you expect statements like, "I don't know how to do that," from them?? They like to pretend that they know all. They would like to fix things - even if they don't know how to go about it. Saying "I don't know" is just not an option. If you ask them, "do you know how to do that?" - even if they don't know - they would tell you - Yes. Men can drive around hours before asking for directions. Of course, asking someone is an affront to their ability as a man. They like to pretend they know better.
Reasons Why Men Lie And Why They Lie
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Another reason why some men lie is to avoid conflicts. If they know they would have to argue with their spouse/girlfriend/boss, etc, they'd rather lie and avoid that potential conflict situation. Some men lie online all the time. They pretend on the Internet that they are someone they really are not. Why? Because, they can get away with it. They'd like to believe no one is watching them and they are perfectly safe assuming various personalities online. These kind of men are like the proverbial chameleon, changing their colors multiple times during their online sessions with different women.
Would men ever admit to what they really do online?? Men love the anonymity of the online situation and they love lying about their activities online because no one can really question them without providing hard evidence of their doubtful activities. Again, not all men are like that, but the ones I've come across most definitely have been. A personal word of caution to women in online romances - accept your online man's word with a pinch of salt. They may say they are this and they are that, but be prepared to find out eventually they are neither. To some men, online romancing is a game, a bit of "harmless" fun, so watch where you tread and keep your guard up at all times!!
Well, now that we know a few reasons why men lie - the more important question would be if you can catch men lying. I always watch for body language. Folded arms across his chest are a good indication that the man is lying, but if only catching a liar was so simple. Also, liars don't make good eye contact when they are lying - this one is pretty reliable. To summarize, men are right at home lying!! It almost seems to come naturally to them. They have almost perfected it to an art form. You almost have a grudging appreciation of how fully they've mastered the art of lying. Here is a disclaimer, lest I forget - some women may exhibit all or some of the characteristics described above and I am in no way saying all men are like this!!
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Copyright © Shil1978® 2012 - Do Not Copy This Article and Publish As Your Own - You Will Be Found Out and Reported!!
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I think we should also think whether it is necessary whether someone should lie despite the situation.for me lie is a lie despite the reason why should one lie.
Feeweewv, I don't think you can quite figure men out. Men say things they don't mean all the time. It seems much easier for men to lie - they don't seem to think much about lying either. Its just a harmless thing for them.
Shil1978, I would have to say that what you describe is not gender dominated, its an equal opportunity pass-time...
It is my perspective Loua - it might not be gender dominated, as you say. Women lie too. This hub was in response to a specific question about "why men lie?" So, I focused on men and the reasons why they might lie. Thanks for dropping by loua - appreciate your comments :)
I had a good laugh reading Why men Lie. I almost wet myself! lol.
Thanks for writhing about this topic.
Niki - woah, I didn't know this would have that much of an impact on you! Lol. Glad you liked this though - an interesting topic it is!!
I liked your Hub. I just know when we want someting really bad we lie to get it. I am thinking about how many men lied to me and some of them did get lucky and some of them got to lie all nite....lol but the ones that did get lucky I wanted to be those lies just for awhile it was fun and I knew they were lieing so I am just as bad for using them for getting what I wanted and means what ever i wanted at the time i wanted it. So I beleive we are all guilty of leing. And beleive you me when the turth comes out we either lie some or we spill our guts to be forgiven. Any way I like your hub, Keep on writing you have a good hub. Melinda.
Thank you spiceyfood for dropping by and for your comments. I agree we all lie, but I've been asked this question so many times that I thought I'd write a hub on this. Thanks again for your appreciation :)
Hi, I read your article and I think we shouldn't tag all men to lie for these reasons. Actually, almost all of the reasons and arguments you described are not valid for me. I quote: "men just lie because they have a false sense of ego and they hate admitting that they don't know!! "
Maybe it's because I am very objective and I studied in science, but if I don't know something, I don't know it. I am not ashamed to say "I don't know". However, I will as soon as I can inform myself on what I didn't know. Also "Men can drive around hours before asking for directions", that is not always true. Personnaly, I am not at all hesitant to stop and look at a map or ask directions at a gas station or a pedestrian. It is actually my wife that doesn't stop to ask and is co-piloting me into who knows where. It doesn't happen often, but I will be the first to say "Ok honey, we really need to ask someone".
In terms of identifying if a man is lying, you state "(f)olded arms across his chest are a good indication that the man is lying". Actually, this position is very comfortable, whatever we may be talking about.
You seem to have focused on the common male stereotypes, which are... well stereotypes. I'm not saying men are better or anything, but simply not to put every man in the same bucket.
Cheers
RenCom, thanks for your comments. Yes, I do agree that one can't generalize all men! However, if I write on a topic, I would have to go by my experience. There are always exceptions. I don't claim that I have scientific evidence for whatever is stated above - just my point of view!!
Remcom was pretty much right. It seemed like you focused on the stereotypes but if you are writing from your own experiences, you should not jump into a relationship because obviously some men are looking forward to goof off and some are looking to get serious.
This is so absurd I had a good laugh at how pathetic it is. It is also, despite your first couple of sentences, a man bashing hub, full of stereotypes, if a man were to write a similar hub about females, you would be the first to start screaming, sexist.
Mick, I am not too sure why you needed to take this so personally. If it is absurd and pathetic, I am sorry to have disappointed you with such absurd and pathetic writing. This, by the way, was a hub I wrote in response to a question asked by another hubber. In other words, it is my personal opinion, not some intellectual discourse on the subject.
Great hub! Women lie the minute they step out of the door. Make-up is nothing but a big lie. What about wonder bras? Another lie. Implants? Lie. Dyed hair? Yet another lie. Corset? Big lie! I can't remember the last time a woman gave me her real age. ;)
The truth is that nobody wants to know the truth. People prefer lies.
R
That's an interesting take on women and lies, ElSeductor. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)
Interesting hub, I agree with some things but not others. I think people in general lie due to insecurity (not sure if they are good enough), fear( scared to loose a good woman due to bad choices), lust, greed (wanting all the women we can possibly get away with getting) and ego (wanting to be the man that scores the most). Men and women both lie,or let us say tell people what they want to hear, so they can have their way with the other person. Overall, it is imature, once I figured this out by my own behavior, I learned to get better recognizing when people tell me inaccurate statement. I think the hub was funny and well done. Best wishes.
Darrell, I agree. Men and women both lie. I wrote this hub in response to a question asked - about why men lie. Yes, it is immature but people do it all the time.
I guess we have to just get used to it - that's the nature of people isn't it! Thanks for stopping by this hub and commenting - glad you enjoyed reading this hub :)
Try telling the truth fore a while and learn why everyone is lying.
I have never lied and I have made very predetermined and educated assessments of when the truth must be spoken. The price is extremely high and the consequences enormous. I rate my penalty for truth based on the out come for others who will benefit by it because I am most likely going to lose everything for doing so. A job or two, a friend or such, but people hate and despise honesty and the truth. The truth is that we our all selfish creatures with agendas, trapped in dishonest systems and have been hurt and punished countless times for being honest. We eventually have to accept lies in order to exist in the system of lies. Eventually, it becomes easy to lie because that is what has been defined as exceptable. I guess my agenda is to tell the truth that your business is a lie, your politicians are liars and your life is a lie. When it comes to people they our just people forced to accept the lie and force others to live it.
Men lie to feel better about themselves. They aren't confident in who they are, so they figure that naturally we won't like them. They create this persona of being everything us women could ever want. When we figure it out (we always do), their covers blown and they think we will dislike them even more, so they lie again. Eventually, if he loves you, he will fess up. Make him want to.
Give him the truth, delivered differently. "I know you've been lying. A lot. Pick up your act, or pack up your possessions. I don't need a liar in my life."
If he loves you, he will follow through.
If he doesnt, go any find yourself somebody better.
Excellent question...excellent hub. I think you pretty much covered MOST reasons for LIES. Men do not have the market cornered here. PEOPLE lie...for all the reasons you mention and then some. Some are foolish enough to fall for lies...some see right through them....some lie right back to a liar....some people don't give a damn whether someone is lying to them or not and MOST people who lie, don't give a single thought to how wrong or hurtful it may be. As long as man has existed & continues to exist..(and communicate in any way)...THERE WILL ALWAYS BE LIES TO HEAR AND LIES TO TELL. We can wonder and discuss & analyze to our last breath...and never figure it out, much less change this or rid humanity of Lies and Liars.. Looks like it's one of the many things in this world we learn to deal with however & whenever necessary....Personally, I've found that an open, direct and emphatic comment, up close and personal..."You are lying, I know it and you know it, so this conversation is over...have a great day!"....works VERY well. Never be afraid to confront a liar. Never.
Fpherj48, I agree - you should confront a liar. If you don't, then one should be prepared to hear more lies. A direct comment like the one you've put forth would make the liar seriously consider whether it is worth lying in front of someone like that, who is upfront and direct about it all. When faced with such a question, they most likely would give up the pretense and decide its not worth it. The sooner you let them know that you ain't the type to buy the kind of lies they are into, the better!!
That said - as you rightly pointed out, men don't have this market cornered. Women can lie just as much and I've known quite a few who do, but since this question related to men, I dwelved on it in this hub. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your view - wonderful perspective :)
Shil1978.....I was more than happy to read your excellent hub and leave my feedback. Your writing is very enjoyable!
Thank you, fpherj48 - you are too kind, am glad you liked what you read :)
this is with so much truth, voted up
I'd like to know why women lie constantly and expect to get away with it.
Lie 1- "I love you as you are". As soon as those words are said she tries to change you. Eg. "You need a haircut" or "your going to wear that?" to "You need new friends" because SHE doesn't like yours. What gives? Don't go man bashing unless you can take the truth! Women lie constantly.
Lie 2- "Money is not important" Sure, as long as you have enough to keep her happy.
Lie 3- "My love will never die" Give it a month, She'll change her mind
Anyway, you get the drift, WE ALL lie when we want something and women ALWAYS want something
Geordmc, thank you for stopping by and commenting. I get what you want to convey and I state the exact same thing in the very first line of this hub, where I state "We all lie irrespective of gender."
So, yes, women do lie. Since this hub was written in response to a specific question asked by another hubber, I focused on men, which is not to say that I am assuming that women don't lie.
That apart, I enjoyed your comment. Many men do feel that way, but of course, not all women are equally guilty of the things you mentioned. Let us just say there are a few bad women and a few bad men amongst us :)
Agreed, however it's been my experience EVERY woman tries to change who you are into who they want you to be.
Off course in some ocasions men need to lie, women use to get to sensitive on some matters, specially the way men see them. Maybe not lying but ommiting.
I don't believe in someone man or woman alike that says "i never lied" what a pile of bullshit, on past relationships everyone ommited something or lied about, maybe to avoid hurting their partner, and that bla bla bla better tell the truth then a lie because it's better, is it so? Sometimes it is not.
Futhermore men are a lot more resilient then women when it comes about rejection. Maybe it is about their role or what is expected for a man on this society, men usually go after women they are interested on, and are far more used to listen sometimes a round and big, NO.
I challenge every women here to tell me how many times they tried to go after a man they liked and do it all, specific behaviour for women is to play little games of interest so that he goes after, so that she can decide her interest or not on him.
Shil 1978,
I'm a little bit dissapointed with you here; you seem very intelligent and articulate, I'm surprised that you would publish a hub that is so stereotypical in its approach, AND admit in the first few lines that experts cannot agree on this subject - you are therefore admitting that some of the things you say later are based on your own prejudices; and they ARE prejudices, because after the opening, you do go on a bit of a rant against men.
I don't know if that is because of some of your own experiences with men.
It's also a bit psuedo-scientific to assume that crossed arms mean lying. Women do cross their arms a lot, I've experienced that personally; does that mean I assume that a woman is lying to me if she is talking to me with crossed arms?
People of BOTH genders are capable of lying or being dishonest. I've known men who've lied, but I've also known women who've lied.
I've had women lie to me, particularly when I've tried to date ones that I like. One strung me along when I asked her out. When I asked her if we could talk about things, she told me she would come back and see me, but got someone to come and keep me occupied while she sneaked off. Another one let me arrange a date with her and then stood me up. When I next saw her, she told me she had been sick; I later found out that she had actually been out with someone else.
Those experiences were painful for me at the time, particularly because I loved the first girl; but they haven't led me into going on a rant against womanhood and assuming most women lie. I still try to be balanced and view lying as a people problem rather than a gender problem.
The extent of the lying depends on the personality, age, life experience and integrity of the individual. I told lies that never really harmed anyone when I was younger.
I'm 56 now and I haven't told a lie for over 20 years, because I've now gained the wisdom and experience to realise that it always puts you in an awkward situation that can backfire on you later.
It might have been been better to entitle this hub: "Why do PEOPLE lie, and IS there evidence that men or women lie more?"
David, I accept your criticism. This hub was written in response to a question asked by another hubber. I didn't choose the title - the one you see is the actual question framed by the person who asked the question. If I had planned on writing a hub on this subject (most of my hubs are planned), then I'd write along the lines you suggested.
But of course, since this was unplanned, what you have in here is not scientific or based on any in-depth or even superficial research. It is nothing more than my own personal opinion on the subject. You may call it prejudices - I am totally fine with that - because that might very well be the truth!
Of course, I do admit myself in the article that "we all lie irrespective of gender," so I ain't making the case that only men lie. You could also look at this hub as my personal evolution as a writer. If I were to write a hub on a similar topic today, I'd take a totally different approach and the resultant work would look very different than what you see here. It would be more balanced for sure!! Thanks David for being honest with your comments - I appreciate your honesty!!
feeweewv 3 years ago
We all lie, regardless of our gender, I know that, but it seems that men lie more when it comes to matters of the heart. I think women in general wear their hearts on their sleeve. It bothers me, especially lately, that men say things they don't really mean for whatever reason. I'm still tryin to figure them out.